Songs About Girls

Songs About Girls by Will.i.am

Yeah baby we'll be
High on love darling
We don't need to take drugs
Put away the alcohol
Kissing got us feeling buzzed
When you're next to me
It's like I'm on ecstacy
We be at it automatic sex like triple x movies
You a naughty lady
And sophisticated
I'll be honored baby
If you have my baby

- She's a Star

You know how you'll hear a new Black Eyed Peas song and about a day later you not only know all the lyrics, but you also can't get the damned thing out of your head? It's a pretty basic musical science that makes that possible:

- simple lyrics
- catchy tune
- incessant hook

Whether it's Fergie gurgling "no no no no. . . don't phunk with my heart" or "no no no no baby don't lie." (there's usually the presence of a "no no no no" line in later BEP songs. . . not to mention the dropping of the band's own name) the formula remains the same. And while Fergie took that formula and applied it with masterful success to the relatively crap-tastic, but incredibly listenable The Dutchess, her solo album, band mate Will.i.am has not had the same luck.

Will.i.am seems to have gotten a little perplexed by the formula, combining the "simple lyrics" and "incessant hook" parts of the formula into one. And when I say that I mean. . . the songs largely consist of nothing BUT a hook. Most hip hop and pop songs currently on the radio (and I have a lot of trouble separating the two of late), have a formula similar to the BEP standard: sing, pop-happy rap breakdown, hook, repeat.

What hurts Will.i.am's solo is that he forgets to SING. I'm not sure if he ever could, given that the Black Eyed Peas, prior to Fergie, were a rap group. And if he had opted to stay true to those roots, he probably could have made a great solo album. Instead, he seems hell bent on transitioning the existing BEP fan base to get behind him, and most of those fans have become acclimatized to the formula.

So, for the most part, you listen to the record, and in each song you suffer from overwhelming deja vu. There's a very specific hook in each song ("baby, where'd you get your body from. . . I got it from my momma (x300)"), and on either side are the overwrought rap lyrics. I'd say they were mysoginistic, but they don't even quite get there. Do they make women into objects. . .? Sure. But in this case, women are just being used as a weak thread to connect the songs together. There are heartbreak songs (about Casanova Will, breaking the hoochie hearts), and there are songs about pawing off the dozens of eager ladies always present. And then the hook shows up. . . and repeats. . . and repeats. . . and repeats.

The album does have some decent tracks, not ones that so much break free from the pattern, but rather make it work for them (and for this success I credit the producers of the album, rather than the artist). "I Got it From My Momma" the massive first single, and "The Donque Song" (which for the life of me sounds like it's saying "she's got a donkey. . . she's got a donkey") are surefire workout/dancefloor hits. But that's about all this album is good for.

** of *****
2 out of 5