Twilight (film)

My public opinion of Stephanie Meyer's novel "Twilight" never made it to this page, as it fell during the lazy 10 months I was not updating this blog. The bonus of not having a book review to reflect upon while reviewing the film adaptation is that I am not going to be made to look silly by my previous statements. However, I will admit, I did enjoy Twilight the novel a great deal, and when I re-read the series from book 1-4 as I intend to do either this month or come January, I doubt my opinion will have changed much.

The thing I liked the most about Twilight, both the book and the film, is that they satisfy a part of me that craves more innocent fare. It's the part that thinks Taylor Swift is a swell kid, and believes that "Lovebug" by the Jonas Brothers is a sweet, unabashed puppy-love anthem. That part of me that would rather read the November Glamour article "70 ways to restore your faith in love" rather than Cosmo's "70 sex positions to blow his mind." Twilight, much like the Harry Potter series before it, is a "literary" serial intended for tweens, that has embraced by a much wider audience.

Without treading too much on the strengths and weaknesses of the book, as that is for a different review, I will say that Twilight lacked the deeper complexities of the Potter books. It was a simple, fun read. It was an epic love story for the 14 and under set. Buffy and Angel for a new generation, only the heroine was significantly less kick ass. Not bad. . . but, you know, not exactly a masterpiece (which I genuinely believe that the Harry Potter series is. . . Chronicles of Narnia for the aughts.)

Twilight, the film, is a very true adaptation of the book. In fact, I very rarely see film adaptations so close to the source material. I'm sure die-hard Twilighters will scoff. They will point out that Bella's blood related pass out in Biology was missing; that they added murders not present in the novel to make the the plot a little tighter; and that the dialogue was not precise.

Oddly, my first annoyance was that the high school in Forks was presented as one solid building, rather than a compound of smaller ones. So I guess, deep down, there's a bit of a Twilighter in all of us.

The story, if you've been living under a rock, revolves around selfless, accident prone Bella Swan. I say selfless and accident prone, because these are Bella's ONLY character traits. They, along with her devotion to Edward, are the only things to define her, and it's one of my biggest annoyances with the books. And the movie. Although, I will say, Kristen Stewart brings a level of charm and likeability to Bella that is simply absent from her written counterpart. Furthermore, she is simply beautiful. She is not Bella as Bella sees herself, but she is exact to Bella as I imagined Edward would perceive her.

Ah, yes. Edward. Edward Cullen. Edward is the character Stephanie Meyer created in order to attempt her hand at our generations Angel meets Mr. Darcy. He is complicated, he is broody, he is arrogant and demanding. Often I also find him overbearing and stalkerish. However, hundreds of thousands of women aged 13-53 would expose their jugular to this imaginary man in a heartbeat, so perhaps Meyer was a success.

Edward, played by Robert Pattinson (Cedric Diggory in the HP films, so the lad has his hands in many an epic series), wasn't quite what I had anticipated. At first, he was not PRETTY enough, his hair not red enough, blah blah blah. But I was drawn in by Pattinson, and ultimately found his performance more than acceptable, and in fact was definitely "Team Edward" by the time the credits rolled.

The casting director, for their part, did an excellent job. I found myself saying "That's Mike" "That's Jessica" before they were formally introduced. My only wtf moment was "Wait. . . Eric's Asian?" But honestly, the supporting cast barely matters, as this is, and always will be, the Edward and Bella show. (Though props to Billy Burke who made me like Bella's dad about 200x more)

The film is often preposterously silly. I found myself giggling hysterically at the most inappropriate moments (most notably the scene where Edward shows his glittery skin for the first time). But, honestly, the book was pretty eye-roll inducing at times too. And toward the end of the film, I found both giggles and eye-rolling to become reduced, and that I was actually drawn into the love story, and the 15 year old girl inside me was a little exposed.

Sure, it left me behaving like a 15 year old for several hours after, but it was sort of worth it.

With all 4 books now optioned, and production under way on the sequel "New Moon" I don't see this fad fading any time soon.

*** out of *****
3 out of 5

Quantum of Solace

Two things:

1) Triple the number of occurrences of truly well-fitting khakis. Fuck yes.

2) Daniel Craig is the BEST BOND EVER.

**** out of *****
4 out of 5

Zack and Miri Make a Porno

There's an argument among film fans that basically says Kevin Smith started to go downhill following Dogma. These are the people that write off how smarmily meta Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back was; or don't appreciate the turn Smith tried to take with Jersey Girl. Clerks 2, for the most part, was a bit of a filmic jerk off, but it was fun.

So depending on what camp you're in, Zack and Miri could have either been much anticipated or much dreaded.

It is, undoubtedly, a Kevin Smith film. It is perverse, crass, clever and funny as hell. It's smart, but smart enough not to rub it in your face, and more than anything, it accomplishes what he tried to do in Jersey Girl. It tells a sweet and genuine story, in the guise of tit and shit jokes (and oh, mercy, does Smith deliver the mother of all shit jokes in this movie).

Aside from being just a Smith movie, it is also a very Apatowian (though without any actual Apatow involvement). The film features Seth Rogen, playing Seth Rogen, and Elizabeth Banks who I now have a massive girl-crush on. If you ever wanted to see what happened in the 40 Year Old Virgin after Rogen joined Banks in the bathtub? This is not that movie.

What it is, however, it a laugh out loud comedy, with utterly perfect portrayals by Rogen and Banks, not to mention an incredible cameo by Justin Long, and great supporting roles played by The Office's Craig Robinson, and Smith alum Jason Mewes (with short hair, and some off-putting full frontal nudity) and Jeff Anderson. Even real-life porn stars Traci Lords and Katie Morgan turn in decent and believable performances.

Having now seen the film twice, I feel secure in announcing it as a return to solid form for Smith. All the director standards are there: hockey, Star Wars, but somehow it all feels fresh, and when you take the shock value of the title away, what remains is a clever and sweet romantic comedy. . . with a lot of fake boobs and didlos.

****.5 out of *****
4.5 out of 5

Steve McQueen Week: The Getaway

"Punch it, baby."
- Doc McCoy

My journey through the filmography of Steve McQueen continues with The Getaway, a heist flick from 1972, co-starring Ali MacGraw (best known for her sappy Love Story role.)
I have yet to be disappointed by any of the McQueen films I've seen so far, and The Getaway was no different. A great action movie, I think the thing I really liked about this movie is that it never dumbed itself down for the audience. So much of the plot goes unspoken, that the twists are genuinely surprising, and the movie takes more than one watch to really capture the nuances of exactly what is happening. If the films maintain the caliber, I may have to take back my negative comments about movies from the 70s.

McQueen plays Doc McCoy, a down on his luck convict who just can't catch a break. When he is refused parole, he sends his devoted wife Carol (MacGraw) in to negotiate his release with a high level official. Doc's plan was that Carol would offer his services as a talented bank robber, however Carol also sleeps with the official, which leads to a great deal of friction later in the film. Doc is released, and sets up a bank robbery that will net the prison boss a cool $500,000. But when things go awry, he and Carol end up on the run from the law, from one of their partners in crime, and a slew of other problems they can't seem to shake, including their own crumbling relationship.

McQueen, as usual, is spot on as Doc, even in the moments where he's unexpectedly raw in is inability to fully readjust to life outside of prison. He is subtle enough to pull it off with real gusto, to the point that when Doc smacks Carol around on the side of the highway, you aren't shocked but rather accepting of it as what he feels she deserves at the time. MacGraw, on the other hand, did nothing to win me over. She had none of the charm of some of McQueen's other leading ladies (especially Natalie Wood). She was inclined to overdo it a bit too much, but she was pretty. Boney as hell, but pretty. McQueen must have agreed, because this was the film that caused both he and MacGraw to leave their spouses and marry each other. A young and exceeding thin Sally Struthers is also featured as the irritatingly slutty Fran, and when she gets her comeuppance from McQueen in a stairwell, it's incredibly satisfying.

Overall, The Getaway works as one hell of an action flick. It's bloody and intense, and the action sequences are a marvel. It also has a sense of humour to keep from getting too overwhelming. There's a great scene where Carol is trying to get the car in gear, and nearly backs over Doc before they can make a getaway.

The movie was remade in 1994 featuring Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger. I dimly recall seeing it years ago, but it lacked any of the punch of this one. Highly recommended, but only if you can handle a fair amount of violence, some of it directed towards women.

***.5 out of *****
3.5 out of 5

Steve McQueen Week: Love with the Proper Stranger

I don't know what it is. First time in my life I come to see a girl, I feel like I'm 14 years old. Even when I was 14, I didn't feel like that.
- Rocky

There is a very definite difference between romantic comedies today, and those of the 60s and earlier. There was a sense of immediacy to the early rom-coms that is missing now. In modern romantic comedy, it is acceptable to allow the passing of weeks, months, even years, before there is any real finale or resolution. Whereas their early counterparts tended to show the classic whirlwind romances, that spanned mere days. I think, ultimately, the difference was that in the 60s, the belief in the real possibility of love was very genuine. It did not seem like a stretch for people to meet cute, and then fall in love through a series of ridiculous circumstances (see: Bringing Up Baby for the perfect definition of this). In a way I vastly prefer this form of romance because it is more whimsical, and more. . . romantic.

I was watching my new favorite channel (Turner Classic Movies) this weekend, while suffering through a bout of pink eye, and the announcer informed me they would be airing Love with the Proper Stranger, a movie I had never in my life heard of. And honestly, what made me want to watch it was the alusions made to Knocked Up one of my favorite films of 2007.

The plot is pretty basic. A scoundral jazz musician, Rocky, played by Steve McQueen (the role I will always now attribute to teaching me that I loved McQueen), had a one night stand with the lovely Angie, played by Natalie Wood, which resulted in her becoming pregnant. Rocky has no immediate recollection of their time together, when Angie comes to inform him of the outcome. All she asks him for is a doctor. (Bear in mind that in 1963, abortion was still a big scandal, and didn't happen out in the open). Angie's family is strict Italian-Catholic, so the entire event is clouded in shame for her (pre-marital sex, pregnancy, abortion). Rocky, for his part, is equally conflicted by the situation. He foolishly asks his live in girlfriend Barbie if she theoretically knows of any doctors, but she of course sees through it and kicks him to the curb.

Thus begins the series of events that bring the two together romantically rather than physically. Angie and Rocky get together the money for the abortionist, and while waiting to meet the doctor, are spotted by her protective brothers, and led on a chase through Manhatten by foot. They end up in an old factory, and spend time actually learning about each other as people, and find that the connection between them remains, in spite of their sordid past, and Rocky's questionable present. When they eventually reach the abortionist, the situation becomes quite frightening, as Rocky realizes the dangers that face Angie in the unsterile and unprofessional environment.

Rocky decides to make an honest woman of Angie, after the situation becomes apparent to her brothers. But Angie, to her credit, wants nothing to do with it. She refuses to marry Rocky simply out of a sense of duty. It is touching to watch McQueen especially in these scenes, where he is exposed as a genuinely emotional man. Of course, it's a romance, and you know they are meant to be together, but the bulk of the movie is their attempt to push each other away.

Wood is luminous. She is understated when necessary, and melodramatic when it is called for. She is beautiful beyond words in a refined Hepburn-esque manner, but it is her strength that is so refreshing. She faces everything alone, but with her head held high, and I believe Angie's character represents a truly engaging independent woman for her era, in spite of the connections she insists upon keeping.

McQueen, in my biased opinion, is perfect. He embraces the cheese necessary to make the film and character function. Every second he is on screen makes you aware of why they called him the King of Cool. He is. Self-aware and certain, even when he plays it unsure. He pulls off the roll of romantic lead just as easily as he plays a big action hero. He and Wood are both a joy to behold on screen.

The film isn't terribly unique by today's standards, but was likely well ahead of it's time in 1963. It is a genuine and warming love story, that happens in a hurry, but makes you believe that perhaps love is not so impossible after all.

(as a fair warning, Love with the Proper Stranger is NOT currently available on DVD, but if you have one of those old fashioned VCR-things, you can still get it on VHS)

***.5 of *****
3.5 out of 5

Steve McQueen Week: The Towering Inferno

Chief O'Hallorhan: No no, too dangerous, stay out of those elevators.

Flaker: Well then, sir, we'll just trot right up the stairs.

Chief O'Hallorhan: Yeah, you'll just trot right up to 79, huh?

Flaker: [chastened] Standing by in the lobby, sir.

I'm typically one of those people who believes that there is something generally kitschy about movies from the 70s. The bad hair, the ugly clothes, and the oddly washed out colour of the film. It lacks the romance of the still black and white movies of the 60s, and doesn't have the full flair of "technicolor" the way current movies do. I am aware how closed minded this makes me, and there are obviously going to be exceptions to the rule, such as this.

To kick off my newly minted "Steve McQueen Week", I need to discuss how awesome The Towering Inferno was. From my understanding, the 70s was a pretty big decade for disaster movies. Inferno was in the company of The Poseidon Adventure, Earthquake, Andromeda Strain, and a slew of sci-fi disaster dramas. I can't really make a direct comparison, as I have yet to see any of the other above listed films, but MAN did I love Towering Inferno.

The premise is pretty basic, and not unlike something that could be easily see in a mediocre disaster flick today. In San Fransisco, the world's tallest high rise is ready to celebrate it's dedication, which of course calls for a party. A few hours before the gala, Doug Roberts (Paul Newman) the well meaning architect, discovers that the contractor (Richard Chamberlain, of The Thorn Birds fame) has taken certain liberties with the quality of his building materials. Electrical shorts are causing concern, and then right before the party, a fire starts on the 81st floor. Doug insists that the party be cancelled, but James Duncan (William Holden), the wallet behind the "Glass Tower" will hear none of it, insisting that a fire on the 81st floor won't impact the party on the 135th floor.

What follows, of course, is pandemonium. The cast is an impressive who's who, including Faye Dunaway as Doug's girlfriend; Fred Astaire as a charming elderly con-man; O.J. Simpson as a righteous security guard; and Robert Wagner as a business executive.

Steve McQueen is fire chief O'Halloran, the smart, no-nonsense leader of the fire squads who appears about 1/3 of the way into the film. McQueen is simply mesmerizing to watch. His performace, as I'm beginning to see it the norm for him, lacks any of the overindulgent melodrama favoured by many actors of his generation. He is subtle and genuine. His role calls for him to play the tough guy hero, but he manages with only looks and gestures to provide O'Halloran with imense humanity, sympathy and dare I say emotion. You can see it when he looks over the bodies of his fallen men, he doesn't cry, he doesn't make a grand speach, rather he pauses and takes it in, his eyes speaking volumes, and then he carries on with his life, as he must do.

McQueen was originally offered the Newman role in the film, but fought for the O'Halloran part instead. He also insisted that he and Newman have the same number of lines, because he believed his performance would be good enough that the critics would appreciate it for it's quality, rather than because he had more screen time. And in the end, he was right. Newman, who is undisputedly one of the great actors of his generation, is dwarfed by McQueen at every turn. Where Newman is acting, McQueen IS O'Halloran. Watching the film it is easy to see how the two could have such a fierce Hollywood rivalry. Two rugged, handsome, blonde-haired, blue eyed men. But McQueen, far and away, embodies his roles more than any other actor of his time. And yes, he is sinfully cool. He, and you'll pardon the pun, smolders on the screen for every second he's there.

But the film does not necessarily need McQueen to be a quality piece of entertainment. He merely takes a good movie and turns it into an excellent one. Inferno is involving and well paced. It is long, without feeling so. Characters that you develop affection for do die, and often gruesomely. The special effects, for their time, are excellent, and the constant roar of the fire is intimidating and genuinely frightening.

Towards the end of the film, when it becomes apparent that there is only one resolution that will put out the fire, and it puts both Newman and McQueen in very genuine peril, I found myself short on breath and wrapping my hoodie around my head for some protection from what was going to happen. The Towering Inferno is just plain excellent, involving entertainment, for any decade.

Now let's just hope Hollywood doesn't feel the need to remake this one.

**** of *****
4 out of 5

Sunday Picks

Reading: Dead Souls by Nikolai Gogol

Hearing: Weezer's Blue Album

Watching: Nothing, currently.

Starter for 10

"Just promise me you won't become a wanker." - Spencer

Starter for 10 is an adorable British rom-com that really takes the 80s influence very seriously. Set in 1985, it tells the story of Brian, a young man who has resolved all of his life to be as clever as possible. This mission has resulted in him knowing a slew of useless knowledge, lacking some equally important knowledge about life, and a general direction towards Bristol university and a turn on "University Challenge" a televised trivia show.

Along the way, things get thrown for a bit of a loop, as is prone to happen, when Brian meets Rebecca. Rebecca is beautiful, but not in a way that draws attention. She is smart, and funny, and motivated. Brian is drawn to her and everything seems like it should work out beautifully, only then the movie would last about 24 minutes. Instead, while trying out for University Challege, Brian gets his first glimpse of Alice. Alice is a drama major. She is stunning, and blonde, wearing miniskirts everywhere, and using her sexuality to get whatever she wants. Of course, Brian decides he loves Alice. What follows is a comedy of errors, where Brian learns that knowing a lot of facts is not the same thing as knowing a lot. From a disastrous trip to Alice's cottage for the New Year, to the dramatic show down on live television, it is incredibly engaging to watch Brian discover what he really has to offer, and how that new knowledge ultimately changes what he wants, as he learns that it's ok to be who you are, rather than who you dreamed of being.

Brian is played by my current "It" boy James McAvoy (I'm not even going to be subtle about how much I simply ADORE James McAvoy, it can't be helped). Is a sweet, well-meaning kid. McAvoy plays him perfectly. Brian begins the movie awkward, difficult to watch. He is much like a more educated Anthony Michael Hall from Sixteen Candles only less self assured. As the movie progresses, however, you are drawn in to how nuanced McAvoy's performance really is. Brian's earnest looks, his deep sadness, his moments of confusion and joy, they are all true to form. Watching the movie both confirms exactly why I love McAvoy, but at the same time makes me wonder. He's such an awkward looking man, not typical of the Hollywood mold, and yet he is alluring. He is genuine and he is really a person you can relate to. A guy you'd want to date, if only you weren't too busy paying attention to the good looking jerk next to him.

The supporting cast is equally excellent. Rebecca Hall, who plays Rebecca Epstein, is positively the coolest chick I've seen in a movie recently. She bears a faint resemblance to Molly Ringwald, which makes her perfect for the idea of an 80s romantic comedy, but more than that, she just comes across as so relaxed in herself and in her character, that you shake your head at how foolish Brian could be to overlook her. She's a scarf and sweater, Converse wearing post-punk-beat-poet kinda girl, and there's something intensely likable to her aloofness. When she tells Brian sarcastically "I will learn to love again." with an eye roll for emphasis, you know she wants to believe it herself, more than she needs him to think she doesn't care. Alice Eve, who plays (shockingly) Alice, makes it difficult to hate her character. You realize, after awhile, that Alice doesn't mean for Brian to fall in love with her, she is just simply unable to behave any differently towards a boy like him than she always has. And Dominic Cooper, who plays Brian's rough-around-the-edges mate Spencer, spends much of the film looking like a greaser, or a Shark/Jet, but provides a certain sensitivity to his underprivileged character. Spencer is afraid of losing Brian as a friend now that he's swimming in the big pool, but finds it difficult to explain this and maintain his tough guy image. So he struggles throughout the film to maintain his friendship with Brian, without being fully able to express to Brian why it is so important.

Starter for 10 (a phrase which refers to the scoring system on "University Challenge" - starting question worth 10 points), should not be overlooked as merely another romantic comedy. It is smart, big hearted, and sometimes very sad. It is very much a movie about life, that is made more comfortable by pushing the setting back 20 years and creating some romantic turmoil. Brian is what many of us are, someone who is trying to claim a place for themselves, trying to be extraordinary, when satisfactory was meant to be their place in life. And more than just giving hope for romance, like most romantic comedies falsely do, Starter for 10 gives the hope that by embracing who we are is how we may truly become spectacular.

**** of *****
4 out of 5

Party Monster & Party Monster Shockumentary

"I'm not addicted to drugs, I'm addicted to glamour!"

When I first saw a clip of Seth Green wearing a blood spattered wedding dress, shrieking into flashing camera bulbs, all while listing off the sure-fire ways to make yourself famous (in the Paris Hilton sense), I thought. . . "oh! a comedy!"

Party Monster unfortunately, is no comedy. Is it funny to see Dylan McDermott in an eye patch? Yes. Is it hilarious to watch Macauly Culkin run around in platform shoes and little more than a hospital mask. Absolutely. But it's not funny in the classic sense of humour, so much as it's funny because you're too shocked to really be appalled.

Don't get me wrong. I don't think that Party Monster is a BAD movie, per se. Did I think the acting was terrible? Yes, I don't care how many critics lauded these performances. I don't care if it was meant to be over the top, or avant garde. To me it was just much too much to come across as even the least bit convincing. It was hypersexualized to the point where even I, the most outspoken fag-hag I know, actually felt the movie was a little "too gay." It seemed like straight actors doing their most outrageous impressions of the gayest men they knew. It was gay to the power of 1000.

More than anything, it was the best advert for anti-drugs that I've watched since Spun. I don't expect to find myself in a k-hole any time soon, probably moreso now than when I first watched the movie. It's a grim depiction of excess, and the fallout of a lifestyle devoted solely to seeing, being seen, and doing it all while as high as humanly possible.

The ridiculous lifestyle of New York's "Club Kids" are further investigated in Party Monster: the Shockumentary, the video on which Party Monster is based, both films having been directed by the same pair. Watching the documentary it is easy to see that very little creative effort needed to go into the film. Dialogue is taken directly from footage of Michael, James St. James and the rest of the Club Kid revolutionaries. Scenes are created frame by frame exactly as they were (the illegal subway party, for example, is almost impossible to differentiate between reality and fiction). The characters have been made better looking, one expects so it was easier to show to a mass audience, but the story remains unchanged.

These outcasts created a disturbed and grotesque environment, in which they were their own underworld gods. Morphing themselves into creatures barely human, often blurring lines between male and female, between gay and straight, they seemed to appeal to the outside world because of the freedom, and carefree winsome attitude they all seemed to possess. But the truth seems to be that they were all equally trapped, trading old internal demons for the chains of vice, and in the process turning their utopian club world into a hell on earth.  If you want the full experience, skip the movie and watch the shorter, more intense documentary instead.

Party Monster:

**.5 of *****

2.5 out of 5

Party Monster: Shockumentary

*** of *****

3 out of 5